Tag Archives: food language

Teaching intuitive eating in family life

It seems a lot of you out there are interested in teaching your children about intuitive eating. Which is absolutely amazing! I’m over the moon. Absolutely loving the little experiments people are doing at home too. 

After a few comments and questions about the last blog post I thought I’d do a post on how we talk about nutrition at home. Again this is not a perfect method and I don’t know it all but I am seeing the benefits in my children. 

For example this week at lunch my boy aged 4

“Mummy why are we having grapes for lunch”

Me: “Because Miss E wanted them” (she is a grape-a-holic, though she hasn’t tried wine yet!). 

J-boy: “We had grapes yesterday and the day before”

Me: “I know, is there a problem with that?”

J-boy: “Well we shouldn’t just eat the same foods we should have different colours and types”. 

Me: in a flabbergasted tone “Ummmm yes exactly” 

Is it just me who is amazed when their children actually listen and take on board what you say?

So here we go, how we chat about nutrition at home:

Take the relaxed road. Several people asked me how can I be sure the kids won’t over eat the food like sweets and biscuits? I guess I can’t ever be sure, but I also cannot be in control of their food intake for ever. I want them to listen to their inner signals and to have a good grasp of nutrition. The more I trust them and let go, the more they surprise me.  So we talk about how sugary foods are absolutely delicious and all foods are great to eat but too many lollipops, cakes, biscuits, dried fruit can lead to tooth decay and tummy ache. On those occasions when the children do over-eat sweeter foods it is a great chance to talk about how that feels.  

A recent example being Eton Mess, my girl had a serving, then came back to ask me if she could have more. I suggested she think about her tummy and decide herself. After another serving she felt a bit sickly and later on reflected on this being due to the sweet, creamy dessert.

Now if I had told her not to have another serving she would have just felt a bit disgruntled, whereas now she understands more about listening to her body. 

Fullness and Hunger Cues. We talk about how it feels to be full and hungry. In the words of my children:

Fullness = my tummy has had enough, it feels uncomfortable, my mouth has eaten enough, I’m not empty. Hungry = rumbles and my tummy aches. Sometimes when I’m hungry I don’t have my energy.

Miss K has always been good at stopping when she is full. the J-boy is another kettle of fish. He will happily keep munching on foods such as biscuits unless you remind him to tune into his tummy. Distraction for him is a biggie. Yesterday in the car he had been given a pack of biscuits, he asked how many to have and I asked him to ask his tummy and see after 1 if he should have another or keep it for later. He happily munched his way through 2 and stopped. Now I’m pretty sure it would have been 3 or 4 biscuits if he had been watching TV whilst snacking or distracted.

 

Nutrition Facts. Now I’m not organised enough to sit down with them and give planned nutrition lessons, I find relaxed or undercover stealth like approach works best.  So don’t feel you need to become a teacher to teach nutrition. When we eat a meal we tend to have a few facts about the food we are eating and talk about the meal. It could be where the meat comes from, how something is grown, the colours on the plate or why something is good for your body. My kids love a handy fact and they will then repeat things back at a later meal. This can prove amusing when someone else is eating a food that they know about.

Your language matters. How you talk about food is so important. Labelling foods as good/bad, healthy/unhealthy, treats or special foods put those foods up on a pedestal. If there are foods that you disapprove of your children will soon pick up on it. I feel like it is a daily occurance that I am having to challenge my own thinking on this and change my words/tone. It seems I am not alone, phew.

Eat using the Senses. Talk about how food tastes, smells and the texture. This can help them to zone in on what they are eating and to not eat it without noticing. One way we have done this recently is to talk about taste buds, where they are in the mouth and what you are tasting when you eat certain foods. My boy enjoys the noises that foods make and how they feel when he eats them with his fingers. Yes it may be not be good table manners but it is a way to get him to connect with his food and think about what he is eating. Later in life people spend lots of time getting back to mindful eating… our children can teach us alot about enjoying our food.

I’d love to know your thoughts. How do you talk about food at home? 

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Guilt free eating?

This week I spoke to a new client. A lady who has previously had an eating disorder and now has recovered to a healthy weight but has some left over eating traits and food beliefs. She was very relieved and refreshed to hear my viewpoint of:

“All foods can be included in your diet, there are no Good and Bad foods, instead focus on enjoying your food, listening to your body, trusting your body and eating without guilt.”

It got us talking about why there is guilt associated with food. Such a huge and emotive topic.

We all know that food is something our body needs, without it we cannot live, too little food and we lose weight, not eating a balanced diet means our body does not function correctly and can be physically unwell. So where does the guilt come from?

From an early age we learn that some foods are not as good for our bodies. This is often taught in a very black and white manner, labelling foods as good or bad. Now I would agree that something high in calories, fat and sugar, like a slice of chocolate fudge cake, is not something we should be eating daily. However it isn’t a bad food… on the contrary it is delicious and can bring a lot of pleasure. 

Eating for pleasure is important. Lots of our experiences are associated with food. If we only ate for  our physical need think of all that we would missed out on. For example the pleasure of an ice-cream on a hot day or cake at a birthday. These experiences feed our soul, they are part of our social life and our emotional well being too. Food is more than just nutrition.

When we label a food as good or bad it affects the way we think and feel about it. So by labelling that slice of cake as “bad food” we feel we are being naughty/bad when we eat it. It can lead to anxiety before eating, judgement, criticism and then guilt afterwards. Our food rules therefore hold a lot of power and influence.

Having just worked with a TV production company on a food show, this topic also came up when they wanted to label a group of foods as good/bad. This instantly brought a red warning flag up in my mind. It became a great opportunity to talk about some other ways we could soften the language used and how powerful our words can be. This is definitely a journey I am on with my language both at home and as part of my work.

It is time to change the way we categorise foods. Instead of good and bad can we not see all foods as back on the menu, just some more occasionally than others? This is not an easy, overnight change but one that requires practise, patience and plenty of self compassion. The first step is to identity how you see foods, then try to catch those moments when you pass a judgment on a food or on your eating. Can you step in and reframe it. Instead of “I shouldn’t have eaten that ice-cream, now I feel guilty, it is bad for me” Rephrase it as “That ice-cream was really delicious and brought me a lot of pleasure”. Let’s bring all foods back onto the menu and start working towards loving our foods and ourselves.