Ever get the feeling that the children in the house are in charge? Oh my days, I know I sometimes feel like I just run from child to child doing things for them!
Letting them be in charge of some things can be empowering and really positive. When you think about it there isn’t that much that they are actually in charge of. That can be hard as these little people want a chance to grow their independence and show their preferences. Eating is one of the ways that they can do this. So from a very early age they can show which foods they like/dislike and how much they want to eat. As parents it is whether we take note of these signs or think we now better! I’m trying to raise my children as intuitive eaters but it is hard as often I think I know their tummies better than they do. I then have to sit back, breathe and let them lead. When you are in a rush or have other children to also look after it can be frustrating to do this but we are setting our children up for life. I want mine to know how to pause, think about how their bodies feel and then respond accordingly and not be rushed because I have a schedule.
I find toddlers fascinating as they are so in tune with their bodies. My 22 month old will literally refuse to eat when she doesn’t want to, there is no way I can force her. She now chooses what she wants to eat from a selection of foods and she tell me when she is hungry with “Eaaaaaa” or “Snaaaaa”. A funny example this week was when I made a cake for Mothers Day and then we had some for pudding. However the toddler shunned it and ate a bowl of peas instead!
As we grow up eating becomes more complicated. Foods plays more of a social role, there is an enjoyment factor and just seeing things that you fancy. Advertising, being around food, media and other peoples food choices also influence us. This is why I think it is SO important to encourage our children to build great relationships with food whilst they are young and to continually reinforce these principles:
- Listen to Hunger – eat when you are hungry, stop when you are full. Think about your hunger at the start, middle and end of mealtimes. I sometimes talk about hunger being a butterfly in your tummy that grows to a dinosaur. Where are you on that scale?
- Listen to Fullness – this can be fun with kids. My 4 yr old boy pokes his tummy and that can help him connect with how full he is. My 7 yr old girl just knows and will leave her food for later.
- Eat a balance – I teach my kids that all foods are great but that our bodies need balance for energy, protein for building, fat to keep us warm and protect our organs and all the vitamins/minerals to keep it working properly.
- There are no good/bad foods. I love this conversation with my children. We’ve used plastic foods to group them into food groups and then talked about what all the foods contain that is great for our bodies. Instead of foods being good/bad for us I talk about how we need to moderate foods that are higher in sugar due to our teeth and balance our snacks as biscuits don’t keep us full for long.
I’d totally encourage you to let your children lead a bit more with food. If you want more tips on how we do this at home then do let me know.
Hi, as friend of mine gave me a link to your blog as my daughter (18 months) is going through a long fussy stage and we’re beginning to worry. Are there any ideas or resources you could point us towards to help encourage her to try things, or do we just keep offering and waiting as she’s so young? I like the principle of helping them lead the way with their food but I think maybe she’s a little young.
Thanks
Hi Katherine, I’ve actually emailed you back, so I hope you get it! Definitely keep offering her a range of foods and then really try to take the pressure off. She will sense your reactions and anxiety around it all. I had a fussy stage with my boy who frustratingly wouldn’t eat vegetables. I ended up having to give him his plate and then slightly turn my back so I couldn’t see him eat as I found it hard to not react/encourage him. Try to be as neutral as possible in your reactions. She isn’t too young to eat intuitively – my 22 month old does it, however there can be other factors at play too. I have some recipes on my blog for things like pancakes with courgette in and carrot flapjack. If you want to make a consultation with me we could come up with a plan!